For the first time in a long while, I went to Blockbuster. Here's my story:
Me: Hey I'm looking for Bull Durham (It's a movie that takes place in the area I recently moved to, Durham).
Employee: Yeah it's over there in the $1 movie section.
Me: $1 movie? I didn't know y'all lowered you're prices.
Employee: It just happened a couple of weeks ago.
Me: Great (It's at this time I start to question my disloyalty to Blockbuster. Maybe they've come around after all. So I go find Bull Durham, walk to counter excited to spend less than I predicted [...] 3 minutes later I arrive at the front of the line).
Employee: Do you have your Blockbuster Card?
Me: Oh, no. (Do people still carry those around?) I have one under my wife's name, Traci Brookie, B-R-O-O-K-I-E.
Employee: Is she here?
Employee: Oh, then you won't be able to use it.
Employee: Let me see if your name is on the card too. What's your name?
Me: Harrison Brookie
Employee: I don't see it. Did you get this in another state?
Me: Yeah, South Carolina.
Employee: Oh, well that's the problem. You'll have to get another account from this state. Just come over here (to an entirely new desk across the room) and fill out this form (that has at least a dozen information questions. It's at this point I realize my hope for Blockbuster has been dashed. I quickly fill out what I feel is the bare minimum and hand it back.).
Employee: Don't forget your license number.
Employee: Oh and your debit card info.
Employee: And your contact number.
Employee: And also your home address.
Me: You have my license number, debit information, and my cell phone number, why do you possibly need my home address?
Employee: We need to know where our products are going!
Employee: Look, you don't have to do anything you don't want to.
Me: This is why Netflix is kicking your ass (I may have said "Redbox", but either way, I definitely said "kicking your ass").
Employee: Uh, well actually no their not (others would disagree, so would the facts).
Me: Ok here... (I hand him my filled out sheet with everything short of my social security number and he hands me a laminated card. I guess I'm supposed to file this with my BILO Bonus Card and CVS Extra Care Card in the annoying things to hold on to box).
Employee: Thank you, now just show that to the cashier (I head back over to the original line. [...] 3 minutes later I arrive at the front of the line. I give him money. He gives me the movie).
Employee: That's due back by midnight tomorrow (Which means I had to drive back up there again the next day. Luckily it was the last time).