Danger of Coping

We've all had to deal with adversity in some way. I remember as a teenager when I first realized that people weren't always looking out for me. I made conscious decision then to need people less. After all, you can't be let down if you never expected anything in the first place. It made high school, a world full of insecurity, much easier. I still had friends, but then friendship was all about having a good time. Then near the beginning of college, I realized that by never expecting comfort or loyalty from anyone, I had neglected to give others that. By coping with bad relationships, I had pushed away good relationships, hurting many people in the process.

Here's another example of coping gone wrong. There's evidence that people with a lack of personal relationships are more nostalgic. Instead of creating needed friendships, they look back on remembered good times. Again, it makes the lonely feel better, but it doesn't actually make them less alone. I am not trying to say coping is a bad thing. I am probably more functional in relationships today because I was not hurt when I was younger. However, we should not let our dealing with past pain, create future pain.