Recently I heard some good advice from a friend's Google shared item (are you still not sharing?). It was about how married couples often treat strangers better than they treat the one person they have vowed to love. My first instinct is to say I think that's bad, but my actions are probably a better measure of my true beliefs. I need to understand why I in my head, which seems to be stronger than my heart, I act this way.
After a fun show at the theater last night, I got the chance to talk with some audience members and I really enjoyed it. On the ride home, I felt the need to continue the conversation, but my wife was busy watching Rihanna's interview with Diane Sawyer (she loves human interest stories). Then it hit me, I selfishly love interacting with strangers, especially ones that want to interact with me. For the low low price of a couple minutes of polite questions, these people will walk away with a positive opinion of me. My wife on the other hand, has a lot more information. One conversation with her has less impact on her opinion of me because it is one of many.
But don't worry, this is a confession, not a justification. If it's inexpensive to gain the approval of strangers, then I'm probably getting what I paid for. Random people forget me as quick as they met me. My wife's admiration, because it is based on many interactions, is more valuable. Her opinion of me is not based on the me I want people to see, but the real me who puts his dirty clothes on the back of the couch, rarely does dishes, and probably spends too much time blogging. The solution is to recognize that cheap praise, is just that, cheap.
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Awesome observation! The wild card is, you never know what stranger's opinion is cheap and what may change your life forever. For instance, meeting someone randomly could get you a good job interview that gets you a dream job. I have had many random encounters with strangers that ended up being very important in my life. Positive interaction with strangers and meeting people in general just rules. Not to take away from the importance and value of your wife's love, ha ha. But quick opinions from strangers versus a more valuable long term opinion from a loved one is an interesting concept.
ReplyDeleteThanks Lindsey.
ReplyDeleteGreat point Michael. I guess the goal is to treat everyone better, but that makes for a boring blog post.